she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
