It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
