Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
