So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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