I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
