Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
