careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
