You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
what day is it and did you see me today?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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