cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
