his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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