What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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