You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
