I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
a search helicopter?!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
