dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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