hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
