I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm having to shit out rocks
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
