So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
