I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
