So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
