watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize