So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
ok first of all what the fuck
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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