At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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