I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
