I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
