The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
