i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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