I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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