how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you will always have a special place in my vag
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
