And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Terrible idea I love it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
