Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Ladies don't puke and tell
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
