I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
