love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
