Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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