called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
