did you get engaged???
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
