she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If I had your ass I would rule the world
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
