I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
