It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
No subtext here. People are naked.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
