Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
