I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
