Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
