i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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