Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
