Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
