Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
