Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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