vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
