Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
