My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
