If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
