First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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