thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
